Learning to let go- A birth story...

   Today I am going to share the story of my little boy's birth.  When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I have wanted to be a mommy for so long.  The pregnancy went very smoothly and I loved every aspect of being pregnant. I went to yoga weekly, took daily walks, ate as healthy as I could, talked to and sang to my baby all the time and took hynobirthing to prepare for a natural childbirth. I was looking forward to the birth. I was never anxious or nervous, just very excited about it. I kept this positive atttitute about the birth the whole time. I was hoping to have a homebirth, but things did not work out and I ended up having a hospital birth with a certified nurse midwife.

(Here I am at 40 weeks pregnant. 1 Week before I gave birth)

   Well fast forward 9 months I am a week late and I go to the hospital for a routine biophysical/stress test to make sure everything is going well. I was hooked up to the fetal heart rate monitor for quite awhile to obseve the babies heart beat. Everything looked great . There were a few times that his heart rate did drop, but no reason for concern. What did concern the nurses was my high blood pressure (which mind you I had perfect blood pressure the whole pregnancy until this moment). They wanted to do further testing to see if I had
preeclampsia. http://www.healthline.com/adamcontent/preeclampsia?utm_medium=ask&utm_source=smart&utm_campaign=article&utm_term=Preeclampsia&ask_return=Preeclampsia..
I had not even experienced any of these symptom. When the tests came back it was determined that I had mild preeclampsia. I would have to be admitted into hospital and they would have to get the baby delivered as soon as possible. I started to panic because I thought that meant having a C-section, something I had dreaded the whole time ,because I wanted a completely natural drug free birth. The thought of a C-section put me into a panic. My midwife was called in and I was reasssured that I was not going to need a C-section if I could deliver this baby on my own. The problem was that I wasn't even dialated yet and my cervix was only 60% effaced.They were going to have to ripen my cervix, before inducing me. Now, let me tell you that none of this was in my birth plan. I was feeling very upset and overwhelmed. I wanted a natural birth, but I also wanted to make sure that I was safe and that my baby was safe.
   After spending the day being monitored I was moved into the birthing room. This was at about 7 pm. I did change into my birthing skirt. I refused to wear the hospital gown. I was hooked up to the monitors and told I had to stay in the bed. I was so upset with this I did not picture myself laboring in the bed. I wanted to be moving around, on the birthing ball, using belly dance moves to get the baby out. At 7:30 I was given a dose of cytotec. The hope was that I would go into labor on my own before being induced, but the midwife said that that rarely happened.  I was anxious to have even this done, because I knew it was not what I had wanted with a natural birth , but it had to be done.

(Here I am wearing fetal heartrate montior along with my own birth skirt)

  I had three doses given to me throughout the night. I was starting to get contractions through the night. When I did I would ask to go to the bathroom to get off monitors and move around. After awhile they allowed me to sit in the rocking chair which really helped. I listened to my hynobirthing cd throughout the night, belly dance movements and just tried to focus.
   At about 5 am I started to feel really uncomfortable and contractions were getting very strong. I think they were coming about every 2 mins, sometimes 1 min. I would just try to remain calm and breath through them. I never made it to the finally dose of cytotec, because when I was checked at 5:30 am I was already dialated 6 cm and was in full blown labor. My midwife was called in and arrived at the hospital at 7 am, when she checked me I was 10 cm and ready to deliver. She was so shocked to see that I had gone into labor without the use of the pitocin. I was so proud of myself . I was going to be able to deliver my baby with minimal intervention.

    I had to deliver on the bed on my back, but it went well. I pushed for 40 mins and he was out. My water didnt even break until 10 mins before he was born. It was a beautiful birth and as natural as could be for the circumstances that I was in. I was so happy that I did it. I felt so empowered. The midwife told me that it went so smoothly, because I allowed myself to let go  and just accept what was to be. I have a hard time letting go. I think for the next birth though I will really try to aim for a homebirth. The midwife thinks the next one may come even faster than this one, so I may not even make it to the hospital.

   I gave birth to my little boy Darwin Storm on March 8 at 8:17 am. He was 7.6lbs and 20 inches long. The didnt cut the imbilical cord right away, he was put to my chest to breastfeed, they didnt take him from me for 45 mins. At least some of my birth plan still happened and overall I am satisfied that my baby made it here safetly.